Stories
Webster’s defines story as the telling of a happening or connected series of happenings, whether true or fictitious.
I have my own definition. A story is any recollection/telling, mental or verbal, of an event. Even true stories are ‘made up’ because they are never related in the ‘moment to moment’ experience. 5 people will relate an event from their own perspective.
My stories are all made up, just as yours are. We create, accept and choose to believe them as truth or not.
My stories follow.
Thinking out loud.
Just listened to Orwell’s Animal Farm on Audible.It appears our human dilemma is constant.We have Napoleons, Squealers and Snowballs, and we all know a Boxer, the hard worker and Napoleon follower. When has this country ever been by and for ALL the people? Some say it...
The Elephant
The elephantNo one is talking aboutthe elephant in the room.The very near possibilityof a POC female President sleeping in the U.S. White HouseGeez, there I am future tripping again. .POC: Person of ColorfNovember 1, 2020
Inner voices
Inner voices the BIG voice says,‘We are all in the same boat’.the LITTLE voice says,‘There’s my boat and your boat, and my boat is better’.‘I have a foot in each boat, making it difficult to find balance.’fOctober 30, 2020
Choosing Sides (out loud).
Choosing Sides (out loud).Mitch has packed the courts with Conservative appointees, while disregarding the pandemic. Regrettably, I do not believe Biden has the will to play hardball with the Wrong Wing of this society. Obama tried compromise. What did that get him or...
Thinking out loud
Thinking out loudI formally decline any invitation to enjoy a happy gatheringwith your family during thenext Native Day feast.OK, OK, I know we are biting our nails (toes and fingers) downto the bloodied flesh,hoping we haven’tinhaled a Covid19 exhale.Plus,the burning...
baggage carriers.
baggage carriers.we all are,aren't we?it is easier to seeothers carry it than to see minebeing lugged along.when mind is seenand related withair is fresherand love smilesoutloudfOctober 24, 2019
What’s in it for me?
What's in it for me?me me meIf I don't care for mewho will?me me meme me meothers make a differenceusfeel the difference in a wordme us me me me usWhen you feel ityou know the power.Words.What's in itfor us?fOctober 22, 2020
an Out Loud View
an Out Loud ViewOctober 16. 2020Trump, Kurds, Turkey, Syria, Iraq, ISIS, Russia, Europe, the Middle East and the U.S. of A.The Kurds don't own or control a recognized land mass. In 1925 Kurdistan was divided up between Iran, Iraq, Turkey and Syria. The Kurds live in...
fear.
fear.a dark doom gloomrising descendingenveloping.“This too shall pass”,is not beinghere now.fear.faddendum.presently I feel the first 8words.*thesehours laterare a testament that change continuesno matter what mind says.with helpfrom others,my day endedwith me...
the COVID sprinkler.
the COVID sprinkler.I find it kind of . . ., no,more than interestingthat our President gave a pep talk to flag wavingcolored folk wearing MAGA caps.Colored means black brown and otherfolk.The same homelessjobless prison bound COVID dying communities being shot jailed...
the Heart of Hearts
the Heart of HeartsIt takes courage to listen, hear and respond to our personal highest callings, when the hypnotic power of media, tradition and the baaing masses responding to the bleating of pious leaders, pull us into darkness.We give military personnel Purple...
a Cancer, unnamed.
a Cancer, unnamed.You sayI hate your burninglooting and riotingin our inner cities.Let us talk moreI sayMLK talked and talkedand gave us a dreamwe all recite in part.It got us a day off.I saytalk has its time and place,but resistance to changehas festered since...
You wanna be love-d?
You wanna be love-d?2 steps.1st) No if when but.2nd) Love. Simply love.fFebruary, 2015
“Wolf” boy.
“Wolf” boy.The boy cried “Wolf”every day.One day the boy cries,"I am dying.”Some say,“Let’s save the boy".Some say,“Die already Wolf boy".”Some say,“Change is the constant".What do you say?Reflections on our current President.fOctober 2, 2020
I DON’T WANT
I DON’T WANTAdding fuel toI DON’T WANTcreatesI DON’T WANTwaves.When many of us fuelI DON’T WANT,what we getis what we see.I DON’T WANTtidal waves.fOctober 1, 2020
There I was,
There I was, confidently losing weight.Today, the scale revealed a 10 pounds gain.That mind is a world-class character, to befriend.fSeptember 20, 2020
Visual vanity
Visual vanitythat this COVID deathwill display a mouth fullof life-like crowns,not gapshaving waited in linefor a best impression.f9/29/20
Belief.
Belief.this heartsqueezed lemon-dryby my thoughtthat the causeis you.f 9/29/20
Just watched
Just watched'the social dilemma’ on Netflix,and realize how addicted I am,and manipulated by social media.The question is,now that I know this,will I delete it from my life?I think not.We can alwaysrationalize addictions.f9/28/20
You want it?
You want it?You got itYou got it?Share itYou need it?Receive itLovef9/17/19
a Living Paradise
a Living ParadiseParadise is being conscious of each breath in out in communion with all existence. More still, paradise is engagingwith energetic flow behind appearance. Paradise includes all aspects of life and death and storms and calm and sex and gender and butter...
I benefit from white privilege.
I benefit from white privilege,not because I am white,but I am light, or was,as gravity and emotiondim my appearancedown to the roots. In NYC, folks thought I was Puerto Rican.In India, folks thoughtI was Indian.One doctor in this area told his dictaphoneI was white,...
Friends and others.
Friends and others.I heard the news about RBG last evening, once, and turned the radio off. The challenge for me will be to listen loud, hear loud and love loud, from inside out, and not to tune in to the incessant Left vs. Right conversations. The challenge for me...
Love Now
During the Covid,let's not add to hysteria.Sit,Walk,Stand, Breathe.ConstantChange is Love Now.f9/18/20
I hear
I hear“Never forget 9/11”.1619 was erasedas thoroughlyas possible.Why forget one,and not the other?f9/13/20
Good Friends
Good FriendsWe left Vietnam,with our friendshanging from choppers.We're leaving Syria,with our friendshanging from trees.Smokey the Bear says,'Always leave your friends,with a loving heart',or something like that.'Trees are our friends too.'f9/13/2018
Talking out loud.
Talking out loud.Ducks say quack quack quack.Dogs say woof woof woof.We go yack yack yack.Is there a difference?Ducks and Dogs can relatewith most every mate.We study books and the lawand still can't communicate.When ducks and dogs get cross,they duke it out to be...
3 Belles
3 bellesEvening tides,a dark seascapeon a moonless night.A foot in time,one still behind,not here, not there.Eat your heart out.If no light pours through,do it again.f8/25/2020
Now AM I
and the Gospel saysforget the lawslive life now all i amis loveherenowamIf
a Day 1 story.
a Day 1 story.I been pulled over by copsmostly black and whiteN0. mostly white.cops are symptoms white vs. colors, symptomsblack shootings are symptomsthe Truth isColumbus was out to enrichhis personal fortune.Lincoln didn't give a damnabout a bunch of slaves."Keep...
a Rain Bow heart
aRain BowheartishereNowf
a Crumbling house
a Crumbling house is scary.What if you look aroundand all you see iscrumbling,period.Whatnow?f
“Today you are now free.”
"Today, you are now free."Painting the street yellowain't gonna do much'bout black crimeon black folk.That paint is gonna be goneand the street will just befull of more potholesand hot verbal air,and black folk will still live and die in communities and our...
Summer: 2022
Summer: 2022What's your summergoing to be like?Oh, I'm going to stay in. I'm not so young anymore,can't afford that COVID shot,and my Insurance won't cover it.Well, at $800 a shot,and you need all three,not many of us can affordthat, with no 100% guaranteethat a...
the Real story!
the Real story!Isn't that what we all want?"I want the Real story"makes me laugh.Stories are afterthe fact of life.Repeat that?Stories are afterthe fact of life.You get that?Every thing thoughtis an after the factmade up story.Now to nowis a story.Nowis all...
One way of seeing.
One way of seeing.Who cares?Who really cares?42% of deathsare our elderly folks,potential seeds of wisdom.Black and brown peoplesuffer most fromCovid-19.I am not old,black or brown,so who really cares?Less old, black and brownwill allow our economyto be great...
Stinkin’ thinkin’.
Stinkin’ thinkin’.“Run over to Charlie’sand ask him to give ussome hot dogs, right now."What did you say?"I gotta repeat myself? This is the fourth of July. We supposed to have hot dogs.""You must have lost your freakin' mind. The shock of them taking the houseand...
I wanna see
I wanna seeI wanna see luv uck shonYeah sureI made it upand here is the drift.Luv is a sad happy facemade up any way you want.Luv invites change and givesoptions to follow or not.Luv is a hurricane,the gale forcefeminine energy.Luv is presenceand presents.Luv is hot...
“Help! . . . “
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up."When I relive an affirmationmany thousands of times,will it become a seedthat fuels my life?Just a thought.f
Eat cha heart out.
Eat cha heart out.If you are aroundto tell the tale,you know heartis not the centerof a living life.I have to ask,then what is?f
an Ordinary Day
an Ordinary Day.To white folks,aboutan Ordinary Day.They sayGeorge diedon an ordinary day.I saywe all dieon an ordinary day.The difference isyou will die in an ordinary way.George Floydis/was a black manin the U.S. of A.f
a Happy Heart
a Happy Heart You know folks, I have left Vietnam but it has never left me. Imagine boys to men given guns to kill just because . . . I am 21 and want to feel what it feels liketo feel. * Four guns in our battery. Two 8 inches and Two 175's. Our 175 mm gun is named...
a Book Kid.
a Book Kid.We steal some cheap flashlights. I am under the tented cover at night,reading a thrilling, historical Russian novel. It is Sholokhov's, 'The Don Flows Home to the Sea'. The Reds and the Whites. His stories charge,flow are sad joy full picturesque scenes.I...
Logic
LogicYou have owned a car for several years,and it has its pluses and minuses,but generally it runs for you.Along comes a person who then says,"I have a much better car for you,and am passing a law that willmake your car illegal to own".Some of us will want to knowhow...
our Chief Commander
Our Chief Commander talks non-sense.His talks are all about them and us.I said our, but we are his them.His us only includes them,that want N. Americato be great again.f
Birds and Bells
Birds and Bells.The blue birds sing.I imagine the soundsThe door bells ring.I'm hearing are birdsand bells and other things,The blue birds sing.but my psychiatrist saysthe bells and birdsThe door bells ring.and constant ringingand singing in my headThe blue birds...
a Secretly Recorded Conversation
View Post a Secretly Recorded conversation.Donald: Bill, we gotta’ get past this mandemic.Bill: Pandemic, sir.Donald: How we gonna’ do it?Bill: Sir, the fastest way is through herd immunity.Donald: Herd what?Bill: Immunity! When more than enough people get sick, the...
a Rant!
a Rant!A short while ago, I observed a discussion about Aunt Jemima, the woman on the syrup and pancake label. I found the different statements and positions about her, worth a few notes. Nature is not either/or, one or the other. Nature IS. Simple as that. IS.Action...
One Play, in 2 Acts
One Play,in 2 Acts.1.We teach your kidsour history of conquest.Many years laterthe planted seedsof shame and blamelive in your daily lives.Poverty is a state of mind delivered to all you colors.Subjugation and dominationhave ruled your defiant roosts,since we landed...
now.
Where do birdsgo?No whereto go.Heretodaytomorrowyesterdaynow.f
“You can’t catch me.”
"You can't catch me", and much more.It's winter,an early morningSaturdayin NYC.We are down stairsplaying Tagin the new snow,that fell last night.He shouts"You can't catch me"and is running fastto the safe spot.Determinedto tag him,I close my eyesin a burst of speedrun...
Fill in the blanks.
Fill in the blanks.Mother, Austrian Polish Jewsent to Boston,all her family die in Auschwitz.Mother meets father, black and Native Indian, he says,living in Harlem.Mother and father have a child, me,Born in Sydenham Hospital,Bronx, New York.Father and mother...
I hear. I say.
I hear. I say.I hearTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrump is thatTrump is thisTrump good"Trump bad.I sayTrump followsin the footstepsof his founding father.f 4Beth Davis, DeAnna Woolston and 2 others
Convenient in action .
Convenient in action.When the current activities,marching talking toppling speaking writing, haverun their course,what then?Will services be based on need?Will schools be equally funded?Will banks start giving loans?Will equal pay be made law?Will policing be color...
an Interesting Time
An interesting time in the human timeline.Covid-19 has been dealt with in a hodgepodge manner in the world, but especially so in the U.S. We may experience serious consequences on the back end. All we can do now is useappropriate PPE , keep our fingers crossed and...
FB asks, What’s on your mind?
FB asks,What's on your mind?White and Blackin North America.Mr. George Floyd is not a martyr.Just another Black man in N. America.He might have been a murderer, a father,or a brain surgeon, but to some, Black is bad,no matter what the person's standing in N....
TheNervousBreakdown.com
THENERVOUSBREAKDOWN.COM #AmplifyBlackPoetry: Poems from Fred Nicholson In solidarity with Black Lives Matter, TNB Poetry has created this space for BIPOC voices to shine. We will be publishing work by Black poets daily.
a White Friend
a White friend was expressing how upset he wasby the burning and looting and random violencebeing displayed by the thugs fighting our police.He noted that calm protests and talking is best.I gave his comments consideration and then said,when has talking peace and...
a Loose Ramble
a Loose Ramble.White folks saystop blaming slaveryfor your looting and burninglocal businesses to the ground.Black folks all knowfrom day one chainedflogged branded rapedbeaten to death just because,complying with youwould build your wealthand self value as a...
You believe that?
You believe that?"We're all in this together."That's what they saywhen we return from their warsmissing minds and limbssince early slavery daysbeing shunnedfor being dark.Yeah,we're all in this,but not together.f
Voting fraud.
Voting fraud. Really?What amazes me is howwe will create a storyto affirm our needs."If those colored people vote, we will certainly lose, so stop them with all means we have in our arsenal.”“With all means in any way we can, in a land of free and pale folk"f
a Day in a Life.
Got up today at around the usual 10:30 am or later time. Had breakkie. Prepped the large pot for cucumber starts.Came back into the house. Sat here on the low kitchen bench and burst into tears, feeling lonely and alone. I am fine with being alone, but not lonely. Up...
At times
At timesI wanna’ be goneabsolutely MIAno knowingno todayyesterday or tomorrowno mindpast orfutureno fathermotherno yes nono,at times.f
Unending Love.
Unending Love."I love youand want itto never end."Know this.Each breath is a new love.Love is closerthan you and me.To confirm this truth,all you have to dois stop breathingfor 10 minutes.f
Who breaks the law?
Who breaks the law?illegalsWho makes the law?Legals came here,killed the native buffalo food,chained a people’s body and mind,dropped atomic bombs on 2 large cities,and we still make the law.f
an Out Loud Prayer
an Out Loud PrayerHappy Mama’s Dayto all the Mamasthat now and thenbirthed this placewe call our homeand living reality.All the Mamasmean just that,Mama nature,Mama moon,Mama earth,you Mama,her Mama,his Mama,my Mama,Mama'sMama,Mama,amen.f
Mother’s Day
Mother's DayMother's Day draws a blankfor me. I didn't meet heruntil after returningfrom Vietnam.Shortly after thatshe had a strokeand our relatingwas short lived.I had one mothering-like experienceon a camping trip with a friend onAssateague Island in Maryland.We...
We have all heard
we have all heardlife is what youand I make it,if you believethere is a youand a me too,life is that, orlife is lifeis lifePeriod. f
Who got here first
Who got here firstMe or the Captain?Captain? you askYeahthe old guyin the backof the roomRoom? you askYeahit changes when I goeach timeGuy? you askYeahhe she it isthe word sourceOld? You askYeahold guy ishe her us allsince day oneBack? you askYeahstrokesyard stagemy...
At the Hickory Dickory Dock
At the Hickory Dickory Dock,Billy T. mouse jumps up eachof one hundred and two stepsof the Down Town Clock Tower.He has not been this highabove sea level ever before,and wants to see for himself,if life is better living higher up.Billy T. has fought fellow micefor the...
the End is near.
the End is near.We did a mouse storythe other day. Let'sbe an old reptile.Let's be the turtleall these eons later,about to hit the road.It's time. Don't you thinkhe she it has spokentoo long already.Since the cave/tree dazewe earth-ding a lingsstill do not hear.Many...
FB asks . . .
FB asksall us humans“What’s on your mind?”What’s on most minds these days?Transformation is inevitable,or “I am going to die.” Dying is a human construct.Change is what I see.Earth to earth.Open any media output device.Receive all that is offered, or not. I say...
Think about how far . . .
Think about how far we have come.Body parts are fashionably clothed.Sexual tools are used for pleasure.Most products are manufactured.Eating bananas in Nome, Alaska.Getting skeletal bone replaced.Being here now escapes us.We converse with more than an Ugg.We rape and...
SEER (2)
SEER (2)“Who are you SEER?”I am lawlessness outside the confines of your cranial domain.I am naught but multi-dimensional madness frowned upon by your scholars who themselves appear to be sane. I am the mustiness quietly nesting in the dankness of your mind cellar. I...
a ‘Brand New World Order’.
a 'Brand New World Order'.At the Hickory Dickory Dock,Billy T. mouse jumps up eachof one hundred and two stepsof the Down Town Clock Tower.He has not been this highabove sea level ever before,and wants to see for himself,if life is better living higher up.Billy T. has...
Try love for a change.
Try love for a change. Change Messengersdon't always appearas Dalai Lamas. Mr. Trump is such a Messenger.Many of us have chosen sides,for or against him. Fear and anger is at the deepest root.The media whips us into a frenzy,generating interests and profits. There...
Do not offer me . . .
Do not offer me . . . Do not offer meany false embrace,after your many yearsof shame and disgrace. New and shocking news.The black brown red poorare the ones not returningthrough the COVID-19 door. Our chosen U.S. leaders say,‘’We will discuss why this is so,but first...
Combat Snippets (revised)
Combat Snippets (revised) With time on their handsthey wait in the jungle. We fire day and nightto insure they die there.*The silent womanholds her little childon outstretched arms. The convoy passes,refusing to accepther dead offering.*I’m on guard dutyhigh and...
Solitude and Presence?
SolitudeandPresence? I woke this morninglauding my selffor living hereat ease for24 years. Canine home mateshave also lived heresome of this time,with few humansever stopping by. I applaud humansthat appear to begenuinely loving,not just needing,in longer termrelating...
Rebirth, Change, Flow
ReBirth, Change, Flow Mother introducesforgotten realitiesto the new visitor. We can followin the stepsof thosebefore ORa very few of uschoose stepsinto a worldunknownto manyothers and a crowdwill followthe few.* Some human law saysno thing is createdor destroyed....
What now?
What now? What nowwas asked. Who's asking?Let's us see youor shut the door. Is seeingbelieving? I am seeingenough stuffto firmly stateseeing with eyesplaced in this headis easily a deception. The questiondoes remain. What now? f
Hear this.
Hear this. Protesterswant to openthe Shut Downon 18, April, 2020. "This really sucks.""I need some work.""No down time for me.""Men don't wear masks.""No baseball! This is fucked.""I need to be doing something.""You gonna pay my mortgage?""How can anyone look at...
Deep Sleep Sheep
Deep Sleep Sheep While we sheep deep-sleepin the digital green pastures, herders keep us well-stockedwith interests proven to keep us fast asleep. Raising sheep with an illusionof me mine I endless supply, chasing the greyhound rabbit,cart-donkeys after the carrot,...
Life beyond words.
Life beyond words The difficulty of attempting to share“the ever present NOW” using words,is “the ever present NOW” is far beyondthe one, two and three-dimensional worldswe have come to rely on as our ongoing reality. “There is so much more to know. “NO! Knowing more...
They track us all.
They track us all. They track ourheart rateproductsvehiclephoneplacetime. They trackwildfreedanimalswith devicesonly removedby someone else. the Trackersstill trackslaves,and ask"You want them back?"“Not at this time.”“Just shoot em.”and they do. f
a Senior Moment
1) the PrelubeSaturday night came and we'd cram into the living room.Ma had the prime spot,centered on the opened Castro Convertible.Us 6 kids found places around the bed. It was TV night.We had an RCA Victor Console TV. This was in the late 50's.Our favorite programs...
One more could do it.
One more inhale could do it,end my life in this body,because of Covid-19.This is a challenging time,when my very next inhalecould be end of the line. This has always been the case,but now when my kid coughs,this truth is right in my face. Death is all ways at the...
They ask something of us.
They ask something of us. Who are They?Love and Light, so bright at night,in living dreams. Oh, what a sight,this love and light. The morning mannaand in all our meals, the living we loveand those we don't, our animal friendsand those we fear, The ones that enterand...
We North Americans . . .
We North Americans . . .are at our wits’ end. This is the first time our borders,the Atlantic and Pacific,Mexico and Canada,are not a defenseagainst invasion, in a very long time. Our aggression across the planetOur leaders wanting to own it allOur weapons and...
Walking on air.
Walking on air. I stay in Yoga/Meditation centers.At Wat Suan Mok, Thailand,the mosquitoes stick uswith sharp daggers. No moving, flinching, suffering.Just breathe and observe.The bite heat spreads,then soon dissolves. After some months of meditating thereand at a few...
Praise Be
Praise Be Life and death depend,each upon the other. If earth was not enrichedwith what is now gone,there’d be no fuelfor us to live on. There’d be no you or me,or a baby makes three. So,celebrate coming AND gone.Stop fearing the one thingthat enables life to go on....
I lie,
I lie to you,to be safe in here,and keep fear out there.I lie with you,imagining fantasywith an other is reality.I lie,until liesbecome truth.f
love, the nameless name
Love, the nameless nameLove is beyond knowingor thinking anythingwe come up with.Love is a tear sizeddrop on a shinyjungle leaf.Pandamic mandamic,call it what you will.Love is just love Love is beers jeers joy,a life where mindis a side dish. Beyond place,nameless...
Phantom Pain or not?
Phantom Pain or not? Prelude 1.I was recovering from a headshot deliveredby one of two taxi passengers,who held me up. Prelude 2.3 AM. Am heading home. Brooklyn.She steps from between parked cars.Says, "I am going to Brooklyn"."OK". He slides in beside her.Says he is...
the Feared Question . . .
the Feared questionis upon us.What is most important,profit or people? When our government steps into save its citizenry from death, shareholder corporate profitsmay suffer consequential loss.Do we support citizens or profit? With COVID-19 living in our homes these...
Think, now Act.
Think about how far we have come. Body parts are fashionably clothedSexual tools are used for pleasureMost products are manufactured. Eating bananas in Nome, AlaskaGetting skeletal bone replacedBeing here now escapes us. We converse with more than an UGGWe rape and...
the 3 Short Stories,
the 3 Short Stories, I cannot tell a lie.the Emperor’s brand new clothes.the Pied Piper of Fear. coming soon. SOON 1I cannot tell a lie.A lie? I never lie. I feed your fantasiesof being great again. I make it up, so truthis a grey matter word, tumbled and jumbledto...
Whispered conversations
Whisperedconversationswith spirit othersfill the hunger void. Come,join withspirit otherforest beings. foxbearhootersgrowlers, ivyfungilichenmosses, oakaldercherryspruce, bare feetrooted deepfinger branchesstretching skyward, skinspecked,burrowed,life feeding....
Start softly again.
Start softly again.Had a long week?Start softly again. So much loss this week,of income and movement. This week I feared death,mine, may come too soon.This week found me prayingfor family, friends and others.We are told to stay at home,or possibly cause people to...
all I Am.
Whisperedconversationswith spirit othersfill the hunger void. Come,join withspirit otherforest beings. foxbearhootersgrowlers, ivyfungilichenmosses, oakaldercherryspruce, bare feetrooted deepfinger branchesstretching skyward, skinspecked,burrowed,life feeding....